Hey - it is ages since I added to my blogs so here I am back again and on a new theme........I watched 'Horizon' last week and learned of the benefits of 'fasting' - at first I was thinking it was all for other people - everyone to their own - but as the documentary went on to explain the health benefits of limiting calories for a regular set period of time I I began to take note.

So I have decided and persuaded Robert that this is a good idea - Monday and Tuesday are fast days - i.e. robert is allowed 600 calories both days and I am allowed 400 - 500 calories both days - if we maintain this pattern and eat normally on the other 5 days each week then we should see great results.

Follow my journey here........

My commitment to myself for the next two weeks is to swim, walk, eat healthily and enjoy it all!

I will back on here soon to report how I did.

I started the week well and was determined to do well with healthy low calorie eating - however I have not been consistent all week and need to get back on track again - so easy to carelessly stop counting.

So have been to gym and swim this evening - will go again tomorrow and Monday and Tuesday - all days off work which is lovely. Next week's short week at work also means that I can do exercise Wednesday and Thursday when Robert is at Rotary.  Alex is back next Friday after her two exams and that will spur me on - one week after that we are flying off and that is inspiring and motivating!!

Started the day on the right foot today with fresh fruit - banana and pineapple and t was good.  I then had a cake at lunch time - total lunch though and then a nice meal this evening - by which time I was keen for good food.  So 3 of my 5 a day and could do better but on a positive note I have drank so much water today because it was hot hot hot and I was getting heady - it has cleared it!

Right enough is enough - I am eating too much this week and I am going to blame the pathetic weather!  However that has all changed so tomorrow I will discipline myself in the sunshine - I will walk more - exercise more and eat far less.  I will also try to have more liquids foods and water........I only have such a short space now in which to get ready for holidays and I must do far better.

I'll bring you up to date soon!

Well I knew that I was wrong to buy a slide of Mars Bars and some chocolate this week - as an official addict I just cannot stop until the chocolate has gone.......

Well I could but I don't - bad habits - bad habits and love of chocolate is my ruin.

So - tomorrow I must do better - now if I could just learn to fast a couple of days - even one day a week - that'd help!

Anyway the good thing is that I have loads to keep me motivated - we have the visit of our German Rotarians at the beginning of June - Alex comes home in 3 weeks time and we all fly off to Spain soon.......and by then I will be slimmer - it's a promise to myself!

Cofee shops and cafes are doing a great trade this weather - it is so miserable outside - rain, rain and more rain. Now I know I can see the good side of that in that we have a drought and none of us want to be without water but this is too much - it is supposed to be summer.  So again I am so grateful that our summer holiday to Spain is booked and we can look forward to being together in a lovely hot climate which helps relaxation and enjoyment. Then hopefully as the summer goes on we will at least get some picnic weather here - well I bought my bargain picnic blanket so I need some good days.

I am trying to stay disciplined this week food-wise and need to start writing things down again since the odd biscuit and cake seems to be creeping back in regularly.  I am enjoying my swimming and pushing just that wee bit further for longer swims.

Alex is working out at the student gym in Buckingham with her friends - I should see a toned teenager in a couple of weeks and hopefully she will see a little difference in my shape.  So still shaping up - how are you doing?

This weather does not help a positive spirit without chocolate - but hey that is an excuse!  I am now back from Scotland after a quick visit to my sister and it was great to see all of my Scottish family - however the chip shops there are great and so I fell of the wagon for two days (the health wagon that is).

I need to try really hard now for my holiday in 5 week's time - I can do it and need to exercise 4 or 5 times each week aswell as being careful with my food intake.  Thinking of all those taking part in the 'Live below the Line' venture - on less than £1 a day for 5 days - maybe I could try that next time round.

We have a health and fitness station at work today so I will feedback on my record since my appointment with the machine is at 12:00 today!

So here's to a good week following by Bank Holiday rest.  Hope you are doing well too - would be good to hear.

'What a difference a day makes!' - yesterday it rained all day long until evening whenthe sun came out and today it is shining - beautiful.  What a difference that makes - the sun heats us through - makes us brighter; makes people more tolerant and of course the world all seems that bit easier when the sun shines - agreed?

 Of course the real difference in life is through people - people really make the difference to whether we have a good or a bad day - awkward, sad, difficult, obstinate people or happy, positive, constructive, positive people - all make a difference to our days.  Sometimes we can't influence people around us and make them better but we can be better people starting today!  That makes a difference to those around us and goodness spreads.

Today I need to avoid chocolate at all costs - I have started with a banana and hummous crackers - so far so good.  Robert is off for check ups at Barts today - still praying that all will stay in remission - our holiday is almost here and we need it.  I'll be back later to report on a positive day.......

Have enjoyed a lovely relaxing weekend which is just as well since this week will be a full and busy one and I always feel better if I have 'me' and 'we' time on a weekend - that way I am happy to be at work and giving it 100%.  I mad a huge error yesterday - I bought chocolate - which is not the end of my weight loss plan - however it was slides of milk chocolate and guess what - they have now gone.  I am a confirmed chocoholic and I need to fight my weakness.  I know that if Robert had shopped with me I would not have even bought them - but hey - not good and I need to move on.  Now when I say 'not good' - the chocolate itself was lovely but this week back to counting calories strictly.

I hope to exercise most evenings this week and then I will be so happy come Friday when I get on the coach to Scotland.  So from now until then I need to focus and avoid the chocolate and sweets.

Today it is raining and yesterday it rained and it rained the day before that - and this is in London, not Scotland!  Think God must be responding to the drought and the introduction of the hosepipe ban - even down south.......made me feel that it was like a long winter and yet we have seen the sunshine so we know it is summer - let's hope it hurries back because people get so miserable in bad weather and none of us like that!!

Fortunately I have been regular at The Quad - the Crown Plaza health centre - mostly to use the Flebelos machine for weight loss and the swimming pool for overall toning.  Now I am far from my ideal or perfect shape but I am improving - shaping up - and that is good.  It spurs me onto do even more and better.  I really look forward to wearing my size 12 clothes (which I have not bought yet) - the good thing is that I believe I can do it.  that is so important - self belief - normally not something I am generally blessed with in other areas.

I have enjoyed feeling my clothes looser on me - even my size 14 trousers - and yet other size 14s are still too tight on me - strange eh - no wonder we don't know what we are doing in terms of size.

Sometimes when we try to lose weight it gets tough so we yo yo diet....however I believe in life that to keep going we all need to have things to look forward to not things to dread or things on the horizon we don't really want to do or go to!  Some things would send us back to comfort/bad foods but I am looking forward to a quality (if fast) Scottish weekend next week when I can get chance to catch up with my family - and then a few weeks later I will be packing for Spain - we didn't get over last year because Robert could not travel so we are all very excited about this year.

Work continues to be chaotic - I think I know what I am doing most of the time but I am not always sure that those around me throughout the NHS do!  We have some unprecedented changes coming and although we have always handled change as a necessity - this is different and people are reacting/responding in all kinds of ways.

God is good and I trust that once I get my weight off which will help to restore health and wellbeing I will find things to do that are worthwhile and add value to other people - wherever and whatever!!

It's about time I came back to this blog - even to inspire myself! Life is good - Robert is keeping well and we are really appreciating that because we are now only 8 weeks away until we leave for Spain and our sun break. Since we didn't get over to our little place last year, we will all be so grateful for this year. Just to feel the sun on us and our limbs warming up will be wonderful. So 8 weeks to shift more weight - I am not slim yet but I am looking a bit better and I am lighter so feel better too. I have been fairly regular to the Quad Club where I use this new Flabelos machine to shift the fat and also the swimming pool for an all over tone up. The real advantage there is that I often feel like a holiday maker in with some hotel guests and it is really relaxing so good after being in the office. Was lovely to have family with us last week - Graeme, Wendy and Thomas were here so it was great to enjoy some days holiday and shop and eat! However I had a bit too much food so gained a couple of pounds - I am recovering again and I am confident that I will be in my bikini in Spain - whether I share the photos of that is another issue!

I'll be back soon - hopefully another 2lbs lighter by Monday.

Easter Saturday and it has been good again to reflect on the width and depth of God's love for us in sending Jesus to show us how to live . He really suffered and died to show us how life conquers death. He rose again and went back to God the Father so that He could live with us through His Spirit. This really effects how we live as Christians - knowing that Jesus walks with us in all circumstances - he relates to pain and suffering and He wants us to know real joy and powerful living in Him.

My shape up programme is now a challenge - not because I am stuffing myself with food but the weight is no longer moving so much so I have to be patient and consistent. I have been exercising, almost completing 10k steps every day of the week and still counting calories as I go. I need to focus more since it is scientific - if I stick to the 1600 calories each day I should be losing weight.....I really am positive though that I will be in my size 12 when we fly off to Spain - may not be a loose size 12 but I will get there. I am fitting my size 14s now but still wear some size 16s - mostly loose now but until my arms get slimmer and my back loses extra folds I need some size 16 blouses! So perhaps it will require me to reduce my calories to 1400 max daily to start shifting the next stone in weight. I need to learn to eat healthier too and not to waste so many calories on sweet things. I have found a solution to wanting something sweet in the evening - ice lollies are only around 60 - 80 calories and they are fatless!

Today Robert and I will get some house stuff done in preparation for family arriving Monday but we will also get out for a little while. Easter weekend is lovely. There is footie on the TV this afternoon so I will plan carefully around that! It is strange not to have Alex home with us at Easter but she is fine in Buckingham and we will see her Tuesday and Wednesday next week.

So I keep going, shaping up and feeling better about myself. Good to have a goal in mind!!

Well what a good day - I love being based at Warehouse K occasionally -I get some good work done and today I enjoyed a lovely walk along the dockside to Newham Council Offices - and back again to the office - was lovely and as a consequence I have completed 13k steps today - aswell as my time at the gym and swimming. I have eaten less today which is helpful since I have over-eaten the last few days. I am watching 'Supersize v Superskinny' on TV - and it is a real lesson to me how binge eating is so dangerous.

I so want to improve my diet - consistency and discipline is so difficult to achieve - I know I can do it and I know I want to be slim again but this is not easy after so many years of enjoying chocolate......here's to the next few days and then a lovely week off - I must stay active and eat properly.

Well I was so surprised that my weight is still going down since I have ben on two days leave with no pedometer and no food diary......however that sets me up to keep going so I am still confident I can get to 12 stone (yes I know I am well heavy!) by end of April and hopefully less than 11 stone by my holiday in June.

I really appreciate food now although have to admit that just as I was getting chocolate out of my system there is a mountain of it in the form of Easter Eggs and I am having to focus daily!

Alex is back to University again tomorrow after two weeks at home so I will need to get into a routine again with the gym and swim - I have been this week but not for long enough each visit.

Really looking forward now to a good Easter break from work - just 4 days in next week and then a whole week off. Here's to the slim Audrey (within 3 months).

What a lovely weekend of sunshine - was a good weekend and even spent Saturday evening in the gym and swimming pool - at Alex's request!

My food intake was within my calorie allowance this weekend because we didn't have the challenge of a meal out - coffee shops are fine but meals out are more difficult to calculate and account for.

Another week - but an interesting one with meetings at different sites and two days off so this will be agood week!

My food diary continues even although our 8 week course has finished - too easy to lapse back.

The positive thing to date is that I bought a new skirt size 14 and it fits fine and today I am wearing size 14 trousers so with a few more weeks I should be a happy size 14 (some unwelcome buulges here and there).

So here's to another week of counting calories, steps, fruit and veg and exercise but all will be well - I will have to plan for the two days off!!

Today has been a good day following a good week - I do love our weekends - Robert spends a lot of time at home when I am working, so coming together at weekends is great. I am altogether more relaxed - work is challenging sometimes with loads of people issues.

My weight loss is still fine - this fortnight only amounted to 1lb each week but that was the aim from the group - quick loss is not sustainable so I am still positive. Now that loss was despite having a roast dinner last Sunday - coffee out and a lovely night out with a meal the day before weigh in!

Alex and I enjoyed a gym and swim session this evening and I also did 13k steps - so roll on tomorrow. The radio is on about the government's aim to get manufacturers to cut calories in food and snacks - no problem with that I say since the nation does need some help. Fat is a killer and there are loads of us - far too many - who are far too big.

More calorie and exercise awareness can only be good.

Today I decided that I would get an accurate weight reading - feeling sure that I had lost another 2 lbs this week since I have been so good! However rather than weigh before I had breakfast and coffee we went to our usual stop first - Caffe Nero and I enjoyed (well a bit) a low fat muffin and a coffee. Then we went to Boots to buy scales but I also weighed myself - and did not like that I was supposed not to have lost weight since last week!! So that was me depressed - but I bought new scales - half stripped off when I got home and wonder of wonders I have lost another kg - so now I am happy. Now I know I could choose to believe either reading but this is why it is not always good to rely on scales because it is depressing when trying hard, not to shift weight.

I have a feeling I may need to drop my calorie count again though if I really want to be sure of 1kg loss each week. I am so keen to get my BMI down and to lose another 10kg if possible.

Today I will (once Alex awakes) spend the afternoon out - we were going to walk to Stratford so I will see if the rain stays off long enough but we will at least do some walking - and tomorrow we plan a nice relaxed day a the pool in the Quad Club - should be nice to relax and then go out with Robert for a nice Mother's Day meal.

Anyway here's to my slimmer figure that is keen to be even slimmer!

It has been a fast week even although I was just wishing for today when we picked Alex up from Buckingham University!

I am pleased to report that this weight management stuff is getting a bit easier - I still need the props - food diary and pedometer - but happy to lean on those for a little while until I get a bit smarter and I can trust myself more. I do really want to lose weight and I can picture the slimmer Audrey but I realise how easily I could slip back into eating far too many sweet things.

Today was interesting - I sent my apologies to the Friday weigh in session since I was on the site closer to home so I could work from 8 - 12 before my half days leave. So I started the day with toast and on the journey to Buckingham was a bit hungry so started to imagine what food we could eat once we stopped. I resisted the temptation to stop at the services because I just knew I would want a cake! Then when we got to Alex at 2pm we were all hungry and keen to find somewhere to eat. So we went into the town centre and the tea rooms where Robert and Alex had a baked potato and I had soup and bread.....lovely and satisfying. Then I found myself at the cake counter admiring about 10 choices at least of cakes with my favourites there.....I bought one for Alex and one for Robert - victory!!

So this evening we went off to Canary Wharf Nando's and I enjoyed a chicken wrap with pineapple - no chips and no sides - again victory - how nice the chips looked but I was quite satisfied with my wrap. Finally we went into Waitrose which was stacked high with chocolates, eggs, bunnies and everything looked so good - Alex bought chocolates (well I paid for them but she picked them up!!) and I had one at home and counted 80 cals for that treat - today I am under my 1600 calories which is great - finished the evening off with a cider lolly at 60 calories - so after a successful day I intent enjoying tomorrow. I have done 750 steps too despite my time in the car and tomorrow I will make Alex walk with me.

A new week, a new day and a new opportunity to shape up. Often I have to confess on a Monday that I have lost control over the weekend but at last I seem to be more in control of my eating and exercise. I certainly have more energy and determination if that counts! Having re-joined the Quad Club at the weekend, I have enjoyed some exercise and relaxation - the jacuzzi, steam room and sauna are useful for relaxing and doing my skin some good - hopefully!

The Powerplate machine was really good - feels great to have my fat wobbled about - hopefully will help it to loosen and get moving off my territory!!

Anyway I have started the day with good food - just fruit, pineapple and melon which was really nice - I have saved my banana for snack time with a coffee to keep me going until lunch time. I know at this time I would fall without keeping my food diary so that is a useful prop for now until I am stronger at resisting 'goodies' (you know what I mean - baddies but goodies because they are bad).

So here's to another positive week - I am feeling better but still wearing size 16 so not all brilliant - another few weeks until I am properly into size 14 I believe. Still I can live with that and then I must be a size 12-14 for June! Have a great week and let me know how you are 'shaping up.'

Well well I don't often impress myself but re-motivated after yesterday's success with weight loss I decided to re-join the Quad Club (gym and swim etc.) at the Crown Plaza London Docklands which is close to home and our Newham NHS offices. So that I didn't procrastinate we went even before we went off for coffee today to arrange my re-signing.

I am so glad I did that so that this evening I enjoyed a good hour at the gym - this included making my steps up from about 7500 steps to 15700 - that felt so good - my stamina has improved and I was able to keep exercising for the hour which is new for me!

The powerplate machine was great too - one 10 minute session is seemingly equivalent to an hour's workout so hopefully I can shake myself to a new smaller size.

This morning after our usual coffee out at Canary Wharf we went to South Woodford......I have had great difficulty getting decent comfortable shoes for my problem feet (bunion) and today I succeeded in buying two pairs - one pair was £80 but I was so desparate for comfort that I had to pay! Then I wanted to check out the charity shops because I can't go on buying clothes that won't fit within a short time and amazingly I found a couple of bargains - trousers size 14 and they fit me - except they will fit even better after a few weeks!!!

I have loads of energy - have not felt tired and I have managed to write up my calories today and have enjoyed healthy food - finished with my two squares of delicious dark chocolate. Since cutting most chocolate out of my diet I really do enjoy the little I have. It tastes so good when it is restricted. So tomorrow I intend walking along and back from the Quad Club and this time I will have another shaking session but then I will have a lovely swim, steam and sauna to relax before what promises to be a very busy week again. Would be great to hear of your journey.

Wow what a fast working week - mad but fast! Things are heating up now that we are approaching the last financial year of PCTs - and the GPs are getting geared up to commission - all interesting if confusing!

Amongst the confusion of the the NHS world I have managed to do okay this week on my shaping up. The group met again today and some are beginning to flag - so Peter showed us a 5lb lump of fat - so ugly and glad I have shifted two of those over the 5 weeks of food diaries, calorie counting, stepping and trying to cast of junk (most of) and stepping up on 5 a day fruit and vegetables.......not easy but 5k has come off. Just a pity I have still got a few stones to shift but I will do it.

I have decided that this weekend I re-join the Quad gym/swim club - it is a lovely one in the Crown Plaza Hotel and even the swimming will help - even better that I can wear a bikini and not look too grotesque - because I am so uncomfortable in the swimming suits.

So here goes to a great weekend - Robert and I will be out for coffee in the morning and I want to shop a little but I want to walk, walk, walk to get this fat shifted!! If you want to join me in my shaping up it'd be great to hear from you and how you are going about it.

Monday over already - mind today did feel a long day at work - not too exciting and I was in from 7:45 so by the time others came in I was well into my work........

It was so cold today and it is that miserable weather = but set to improve soon I believe. Robert is out this evening at London Rotary again so I will pick him up later when he calls - he will be so cold on the open DLR stations.....roll on summer and sunshine.

Alex sounds bright these days - I have now called her twice by accident but she was sounding good. I will be able to enjoy her company again soon which is lovely. Well today has been okay for calories - I had a hummous salad sandwich earlier and although I had a muffin at lunch time I counted it as my total lunch - stupid I know but I am allowed anything - it is just costly in calorie terms. Our programme leader wants us all to weight ourselves this week but I don't really want to since my scales always tell me I am heavy - seriously I really want so much now to get back to my former glory. My weight has gone on slowly though so it will come off slowly - but the important thing is that each month I will be lighter and shapelier!

This weekend has been a good one - and today was relaxing. I have read a lot and rested a lot and feel better for it. Need to be ready for an early start tomorrow and all week but I always feel better for having a relaxed positive weekend - sets me up for a busy week. Robert and I don't have loads of valuable time during the week but we really love our time together at weekends.

Has been fine today counting calories - and even finished on a McDonalds ice cream Sundae - can count that. This week I will continue to balance my days - if I go over one day I will hold back the next. Fortunately I am not planning to eat out this week which should make things a little easier. It is cold outside which will mean I may not enjoy my walking very much but I know I need to do it. My health needs the exercise but I also really want to get slimmer. Although I can wear a couple of my 'bits' at size 14, I tried on some at that size this weekend and they were far too tight. So I am at that in between size thing and I really want to get to a slim size 14 very very soon so here goes with another week of discipline!

Here I am back again - had a good day. Robert and started by skipping breakfast in bed and went to Caffe Nero as usual so had breakfast there which was lovely. After yesterday I peeled back my calories to 1100 today - since I ate a bit too much last evening.

On top of that I have done so well with walking today - I walked over to Stratford to the shops and that was tiring enough but I had not taken my Oyster travel card with me so walked all the way back too - otherwise I may have been tempted to hop on a bus part way at least!! Still it is satisfying that I managed this today because sometimes I tell myself I should do things and then disappoint myself by not carrying out my own plans - sound familiar to you?

We did intend initially to go to the cinema this evening but decided against it since my feet needed a bath and a rest when I got home.

I'll be back tomorrow - I cannot wait to be slim but will have to!

Today is a good day - I do really appreciate my weekends - I love my role within HR but life in the NHS is challenging at present so after a busy week I am glad to rest! After our weight action group yesterday where we all had a good laugh as well as some education and encouragement I was pleased to lose weight again so Robert and I enjoyed a meal out and I had what I fancied. That means that although I had left what I thought could be enough calories I may have gone over a bit! So today I am counting well and keeping my calories under the 1600 allowed to make up for yesterday. That's what I like about calorie counting plans - you can juggle a bit to ensure that overall the 1600 limit is retained.

It is getting easier to resist what I used to think of as 'goodies' - now they are 'baddies' I suppose - all the things that don't add any nutritional value to my health. Still there is nothing I am not allowed - just again learning that there are things I don't really want because the cause havoc with my size.....and I do really want to get slim again. No age excuses - I know many women at my age give up and just accept their increased weight and size but I am not happy with mine and need to get smaller to be happier - fact!

I am off out for a long walk soon - to the shops- but still a walk, and I hope that I feel a lot better about myself when I have been.

On the way to work, in Liverpool Street Station we were all offered a 'snickers' bar - full of peanuts and before we got them we had to say how hungry we were - all in the mind eh? suddenly everyone was really hungry 'cos we had to have one of these wonderful bars......well mine is safely in it's marketing box inside my bag. Maybe at lunch time I will share this bar with my friend Kathryn and then I will only eat 150 calories of it! It is hard when we are trying to cut calories because there are so many things to tempt us and just when we make sure we don't have too much at home to tempt, we are sure to be tripped up with offers during the day.

Still so far so good - a banana for breakfast with coffee and a pear for snack time - this is because I need to remember I am out at rotary this evening and it is rude not to have a meal!

I am getting better and stronger at this but last evening I decided to go and check out clothes - evening is not my best time of the day so I ended up feeling depressed at clothes that looked so nice but made for slim folks - I need to keep working before I am slim again but it will come!

It is Tuesday already and I am well into a new working week - how time flies.

Again I have a bit of variety this week as I cover a few Trust sites and one in central London so plenty of opportunity for extra steps - so far so good but I may need to aim for a bit more than 10k as the better weather approaches to really shift this excess baggage! There is a severe cost for excess baggage when travelling and the same on our bodies - aches and pains and illnesses are too common now and extra weight does not help us feel our best. My trousers seem to be hanging on me but the next size down are too tight - my stomache seems to be flattening (a bit anyway) and my hips are getting less prominent but I have such a long way to go so i still count and write down my calories to help focus.

O I do love muffins though - and even the skinny ones are 400 cals (well 398 to be exact but not much benefit from saving 2 cals).

So I have had a lot less chocolate but need to learn to replace muffins - I did have acoffee and a 10cal sweet one day....not ideal choice for a lunch though!

I'll be back.......

Too long since I have blogged -I need to do it regularly in order to encourage myself to keep going and shaping up! I was so pleased two Friday's back to realise that my weight loss was more than expected - however it must have made me complacent and this last Friday I stood on the scales to discover .3 of a kilo had crept back on......not a good feeling but of coure not too much to be upset about. Quick weight loss is not sustainable they say so I do need to learn to pace myself and be patient with a small weight loss each week rather than try to rush it. Alex will be home in 3 week's time which is good and my brother and family are coming down on Easter Monday for 5 days so I have things to look forward to - not to mention our Spanish holiday in June - good to look forward sometimes especially to envisage the clothes I can buy and wear when I have shaped up a bit more!

Today I walked early and completed my 10k steps int h sunshine - was a lovely day but I have been tired and bored this afternoon whilst Robert has watched football and rugby......a new week ahead when i will meet some friends - hope it is a good one.

Tuesday almost over but still got a few hours of relaxation before bed.....Eastenders and Robert massaging my feet!!

Have been sticking to writing everything down and still able to enjoy a wee chocolate or two - life is good.

Glad to talk again with Alex today - she is doing well and enjoying her student life...it is a privileged time when you only really have to think of yourself and your friends. Can't wait to see her again in three weeks time - end of another term.

So am I shaping up - well I am feeling more in control with food - more able to pass the baker shop, the sweet shop and the chip shop without feeling deprived. It's great to talk to people at work about how we are doing - think we are all looking forward to being slimmer.

I really look forward to feeling my back flab and arm flab falling off - well you know what I mean! I will look and feel good when I can fit into smaller clothes for our summer holiday. Hopefully the clothes I have left in Spain will be too large and I can leave a new set this time round.

I have had an interesting day - started with a lovely walk over to Stratford and that gave me over 4000 steps. We enjoyed a Commissioning workshop until lunch time - were served a healthy, colourful lunch and then I met someone at Starbucks, Westfield for a meeting. Back to Warehouse K, I finished my day there and dropped Robert at the station for his trip into Central London for a Rotary meeting. Was good to meet again with new people and to talk about the future changes in the NHS which will effect all of us.

Was relatively easy during the day to control my eating - harder to finish my steps but 10k done and kept within my calorie allowance.......

This week could prove challenging to me since I will be eating out at least twice on planned events - but I am fairly confident so here goes!

Sunday and the sun is shining - I think of many friends who ar worshipping today - well I hope they are able to worship in the Church they go to. Sometimes there are distractions and some people don't find it easy to find a Church where they feel they can truly worship. Now fellowship is a different thing - all very good to share with other Christians - especially if talk helps to build us up - but Worship is personal - between me and God - anything that spoils that isn't good.

Anyway today I am positive - Robert is well and we have enjoyed each other's company this weekend - planning ahead and glad that it is possible. I think I have turned the corner in relation to food -for me to have chocolate in the house and not just work my way through it is good. I have lost 6lbs over 2 weeks on my weight action programme at work but I have a long way to go - I still want to lose around 3 stones so I need to keep my focus and not 'fall off the wagon.' I think I will need to write it all down for some time to come since it really helps to focus the mind. I want so much to be slim, feel good about myself, lessen health risks and enjoy clothes shopping one more.

So for now I am preparing to share a good afternoon with Alison, Greg and four children - should be good. Missing Alex and she only visited last weekend - but I know she is okay and she isn't too far away.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Yeehah it is Friday again and we had our 'class' and weigh in today - still trying to get used to kg but I am losing weight and that is good. So in a week when I have enjoyed three meals out, coffee shops, afternoon tea and even a burrito I have lost weight - all because of writing it all down and counting my steps.

I was ready for this programme and the support is doing me good and helping me focus. Now I am on the way down watch this space because I cannot wait to get into those size 12 clothes within a few months!

This week has gone fast and has been a good week. Lots going on a t work but all okay with plenty to keep me interested. Next week also promises variety and that is motivating too.

So here to a good weekend with Robert and a visit from Robert's daughter, son in law and lovely grand children on Sunday.

By the way I enjoyed half a kebab tonight with chips - absolutely lovely - and all counted into my calorie allowance!

Well almost anotehr working week over - time is moving so fast. this means that another weight in awaits me tomorrow but it has been good to stick (almost) to the alloted calories - has not been too difficult and I have not yet been hungry. Now this does not mean that I could not eat firsh and chips or a Chinese or an Indian meal later but i don't really want to spoil my plan.

I may or may not have lost any more this week but I feel I am getting better - only thing is that I need to get healthier in my choices. A Pretzel for breakfast followed by a muffin for lunch and a Wrap for evening meal was very tasty yesterday but I need to make healthier choices than that for health reasons.

So let's see what tomorrow brings and I am hoping it is positive.

Another new day and I am well rested after a lovely day out yesterday.

Brian and Shirley organised our day out and took us first of all to coffee at The Salvation Army, Harold Hill. There is always someone we know at 'The Army' and it was good to meet new people too at a Corps set right in the heart of the community and providing effective Christian service and support to local people.

Then we went home to Brian and Shirley's for a light lunch - still not knowing what else was happening. They presented us then with a voucher for 2 for afternoon tea at the Marygreen Hotel, Brentwood. What a lovely experience - we sat in a lovely warm conservatory with large posts of tea and a lovely spread of sandwiches, scones (with customary jam and cream) and a selection of cakes. We spent a lovely 2 hours there together - we have been good friends now for 25 years and it was good to be so relaxed and easy in each other's company.

I still managed to count calories (quietly and without fuss of course) - and by the end of the day I was happy that I was still on target. Now it was valentine's day too and that meant that I received a beautiful box of chocolates from Robert - I only had 2 which is a miracle for me. I need to keep up this approach and with Friday weight in fast approaching I am keen that today and tomorrow I notch up the steps and at least attain some weight loss. this game will get easier and then just become my lifestyle.

Well what an interesting day - people dropping like flies at work - cold office then fully hot air-conditioned and still people coughing etc!

Had a lovely meal out with Kathryn this evening - we used to work together and it is always good to catch up. People make life rich and I am grateful.

Having to count calories, steps and time in front of the TV/laptop is proving quite motivating. Can't wait until I take some weight off and my stomach shrinks - then I will naturally not be able to eat as much. Really pleased that so many 'chain' restaurants and 'take aways' have calorie information now - it is so helpful and there are always low calorie choices. This morning I almost bought myself a breakfast pretzel - until I spotted that the calorie count was 356 - wow! I bought a banana for breakfast instead. I could easily eat breakfast before I leave for work but because that would be before 7am I choose to wait an hour and eat at 8am when I reach the office. Otherwise I may be snacking by 9!!

The counting will soon become 2nd nature I hope. I am driven forward by looking forward to wearing some sleeveless tops and dresses in the summer - to feel free instead of covering up.

We are off out tomorrow - Valentine's day - with Brian and Shirley - don't know where to but wherever we are going it will be lovely to be together. It will be easy to eat sensibly and hopefully I can count some steps!

I will report again tomorrow.........

There is one thing sure - having Alex home makes me realise that life has changed and has to be different now! Has been a lovely short visit and has been good to shop and eat out together as well as enjoy a film at the cinema but Alex has her own life away from here now and I need to have different life too even if I don't like it.

Now that could make my life sound bleak and it isn't but when Alex left home - for all that I was delighted that she was off to University - it was like losing a limb - we were together a lot!

So I need to get on with life and stop dreaming and wondering where Alex is, what she is doing and what she will become.

So I need to crack on and get motivated to lose this weight and feel better about life in general.

So how is my Weight Action Plan going? Very well. On Friday we were given - according to age, weight and height, the number of calories we would need to have a day to lose 1lb each week - that is with no exercise. Mine is 1600 a day and that is fairly generous for me, having tried to stick to 1000 which has proved a wee bit tough!

Yesterday we had a good day - ate out at lunch time and went for a nice meal in the evening - think I just about came in on target. Where they get stretched slightly on weekends I can pull back in the week to 1200 or even 1000 per day to average it out. Calorie counting makes good sense to me coupled with moving more.

The task of reducing 'sit down' TV and lap top time in evenings is a positive one - to keep it below 4 hours should be very possible. I really want to be moving more at home to get the house in order. Spring cleaning time is coming up and our house needs some serious de-cluttering and cleaning. So I need to use that evening time - even 1- 2 hours moving around doing things - and not nibbling.

So how will I keep this going and make some real progress in losing weight? I will envisage what I will look like (have my size 12 photo out already), how I will feel and what clothes I can wear - that is good stuff. We have also booked out holiday for June and are about to book a special week in Scotland for December so I will keep having things to look forward to.

So - it is nearly lunch time and I have had around 150 calories so far so have plenty left - and I am on my third glass of water......now this is great for me! See you later.

Well that was another fast week at work - feeling positive that I lost 2lbs in weight hardly even trying. What a difference a pedometer and a food diary can make. It really is all about psychology eh? You really do need to get your mind under control and your mind in control of food intake.

I have been trying to increase my fruit consumption - not easy. My weakness is stil in replacing sweet stuff with savoury/healthy choices. So I find myself in Starbucks to relax for a short lunch break and in front of me is a coffee (americano with milk) which is fine but alongside the coffee is my favourite skinny ginger muffin.......the skinny is a delusion since it contains 399 calories. So I enjoy it but of course that value in calories is my whole lunch. Now in anyone's estimation that is not good healthy eating.

This weight action plan we are part of is good - they want us to cut down below 4 hours the time spend in an evening just sitting at either TV or computer - makes sense since it is often in those times we nibble! also it is too easy to waste hours when we could be doing something like walking!!

So I am all for improving my efforts this week and it should get easier being part of a great group at work who all want to lose weight. A bit of healthy competition can be good and I really do intend to get back into my size 14 clothes within about 3 weeks and then get into a size 12/14 by May/June time. Don't want to be over ambitious - just a steady loss of 2lbs a week will be a healthy way to reduce and the walking should keep me toned.

I am happy this weekend - Robert has been busy with Rotary this week and it is great to see him with energy to do that - he is out all day today training. Alex is home and it was good to go for a lovely meal with her last evening at Carluccios at Canary Wharf - noisy but nice atmosphere.

Today we will go shopping but even if it is 9:50 there is no sign of Alex - she will get up sometime later!

We will talk again.........

What a good day - was busy at Clifton House today until early afternoon when three of us went along to Barking for a payroll contact meeting - was good to enjoy the company and meet up with friends I have known for many years in my NHS work.

I have written down my steps again and my food intake. This weight management programme is starting to influence me - making me think again about my intake, my lifestyle, getting moving and thinking positively! It is good at work that so many of us across the team are taking part - I have been able to talk to folks and share what they are doing to make improvements for them.

I have another 3 days at work and they promise to be full of variety - suits me well - meeting loads of different people and taking part in different events......life is good.

Can't wait until Friday this week - Alex will meet me after work and as we go for a lovely meal together I hope she will be full of chat - just like old times!

Now something I need to change tomorrow is that if I visit Starbucks I need to choose something other than a beautiful skinny muffin at 399 calories.

Well today was a good day - first time in ages I got to the bus stop and the bus arrived - was a good start to the day. I arrived at the office by 7:55 so always good to enjoy peace and a chance to crack on with e-mails and work. By the time the team arrives I am on top of things and feeling ready for the day ahead.

The day seemed to pass quickly today - but my journey back was a bit of a drag! I started well on a fruit breakfast but my lunch time I enjoyed my stem ginger skinny muffin at Starbucks. However, soup and oatcakes this evening has balanced my day and added to that was 7000 steps - all is well.

If I increase drinking water and fresh fruit I can do this. Talk again soon.

Hello again - not so long a wait this time before I felt ready to add to my blog.

Today I dropped Robert at Church in Barking and started off on a lovely walk. I decided to walk through to Barking Park and it was a great decision. Fresh snow, frozen lake, beautiful ducks and birds, lovely little families with tiny tots and bigger kids were enjoying their snow adventures. I walked and felt the benefit as my muscles got stretched and I felt I was getting some good exercise.

More than anything I found peace and tranquility -so great to find time to relax and be at one with God. The old song came to mind 'Come ye yourselves apart and rest awhile.....and in My quiet strength again be strong' - a lovely Bible invitation in which we are invited to come away from all the busy-ness and hassle of life and find strength in God again.....

I am feeling positive after my 8000 steps today to enter a week of trying to do better to shape up.......we are faced with major NHS changes and for that too I need to be ready - to give advice, to support staff as they face changes they may not like and of course for my own career I need to work some plans out for the future. Has been good this weekend to have un-interrupted time with Robert - I don't take that for granted. We are apart from each other for much of the working week so always good to make the most of our weekends.

So bring on another week and let's hopeI can report good things!

Hey it's been too long since I have added a post and even if no one is reading I need to be more disciplined - just to motivate myself!!

Well our new weight programme has started at work - first session was Friday 3rd and I was glad! There are 15 of us keen to have a go at changing our ways so that we can lose weight - take it off and keep it off for good. It takes far more than diet and I am ready for that. However I need to really apply all that I know and understand to be true - listen to new ideas and theory and get cracking. Now I did lose some weight over the last year but I mean that I need to get smarter at this thing.......no use taking a year to lost weight that has to come off - I need to get serious.

Now the start this week is gentle on us - but how inspiring and supportive it is to come together with colleagues who all want the same results.....we had a good laugh Friday as we met for one hour and shared our starting points. I am far too heavy for my height but I don't get over excited about that - what I want to see more than anything to a reduced size in clothes - I love it when I can shop smaller - what a difference that alone makes to my confidence and general well-being.

So it's all new and exciting because we have experts feeding into this programme and they too mean business. This first week I have two homework tasks - each day I have to record my steps and everything that I eat or drink - that alone will start to have effect - soon!! When I say that, we have been told just to be as normal (for us) as possible this week but record it all - not to go mad in this intro. week otherwise the programme could become too difficult for us - suits me for now. Isn't it interesting that when we have to commit to write down what we have done that it starts to change our attitude to food?

Thinking about that fact I think that as a Christian it is really important to take stock of what we are doing and think about what we should be doing....and I personalise that - what should I be doing - where should I be going and what difference can I make in this world? My weight loss plan is not just to change the way I look but I believe that being overweight can spoil so much in my life - I want to be better, look better, feel better and live better - talk again soon x

What a good day at work - we all met this morning at a local 'etc' centre where we enjoyed breakfast, some team building activities all around communication, lunch and some time to talk together! It was really enjoyable and a real bonus for me since originally I was due to be at an Employment Tribunal Court for the day.

So January is going in nicely and I don't normally like January despite having my birthday this month. The weather so far has been good and that helps.

Working in PCTs at present is not too easy but I still enjoy HR work and I meet some lovely people. I hope that in some way I can say the right thing at the right time in assurance, guidance and empathy. As a Christian at work I find opportunities to witness to my faith in God and I stilloften feel a sense of excitement and happiness as I feel God leading and supporting me.

The great thing in life is that we can all experience life long learning - I am still learning about people and their complexity and diversity of need - I also learned today that I (and you) have two floating ribs - seemingly!!

What a lovely afternoon - met Robert at Green Park and then went to the Rotary Club of London Burns' lunch - haggis, neeps and tatties as well as great company, a piper, a Scottish singer from the English National Opera, a Scottish dancer and a good atmosphere. It meant that I was in the office for 7:30 but was worth it. Robert and I walked along from Green Park through Piccadilly and up Regent Street. We had a coffee in the comfort of Caffe Nero and then had a wander through John Lewis before coming home.

Had a lovely relaxed evening and looking forward to the rest of the week. Was thinking of how much we take for granted around us today and took some photos - Gordon McInally was a speaker at the Club today - he came down specially from Edinburgh and returned for another Rotary evening Burns' event! Was good to catch up with Gordon - who fits in his dental practise between - there are really dedicated people keeping the Rotary wheel turning. Cyril Halstead, a Salvationist, was there today and he works tirelessly for the Club - he has served God through the Army for many years - God Bless such good people.

Monday 23rd January 2012

This is a new day and a new working week - with variety all over it. I have two half days off - today for The Rotary Club of London Burns' lunch and Wednesday for my birthday that comes round whether I am ready for it or not. Tomorrow we have a team building day close to here in the morning and I have a day at Warehouse K, close to home. to end the week i have two external meetings - one at NHS London and one at Barking payroll. Life is good when it doesn't stand still.

Coming into work today I was reflecting on the fact that the tall office blocks and smart restaurants were all planned and appeared without us being aware of the planning.......our lives are being planned as we move through oblivious to what is being planned for us. God is bigger than us and we need to learn to allow Him to undertake. His plans are bigger than us and yet they include us. Let's trust Him for all that's to come.

Hope your week is filled with variety - and if not at work, then at home and in your social life.

It is Sunday and the sun is shining. As I write this much of the TV centres around debates on political issues. Interesting to realise how there are so many views on one subject. Some of the debates leave me cold since people are all conditioned differently and influenced through what has happened to them in life and sometimes I wonder if there really is an answer.

Now I know that as a Christian I really do believe that Jesus is the answer to what we need but when I look around where some people choose to worship each week I wonder how the world will ever get that message! You see some Churches look like historic societies - many members look back to the 'glory days' when these same churches had hundreds of members. My eyes have been opened to the Alpha Churches who saturate their efforts/plans and worship in Prayer and Bible study and keep outreach very much on the agenda......they are growing and more young and family people are joining or at least attending.

Do many people go to Church because they have always gone there and their friends are there? We have a responsibility as Christians to worship in a relevant way and to ask the right questions of what we are doing and why? I am not attending my 'normal' Church at present and I am happier not to since the worship was not relevant or sound - nor was the focus of the Church.......I will find my way again hopefully but for now I will worship in different ways and in different Churches. What I am certain of is that Jesus is my answer and I am able to trust Him for my needs and my direction.

I have an interesting and varied week ahead with two half days off - one for the Rotary Club of London Burns lunch where Robert will speak and one for my birthday when Robert and I will enjoy some time together. I never really feel like celebrating my own birthday - I can't believe my age since I don't feel this old - but life is not over yet!!

At the end of this week I have my first weight management session.......I really do mean business and have introduced a few changes already - starting the day with porridge when i can may help - having fruit before eating other foods is another positive to help digestion!

I am excited about the next months - Robert is keeping quite well and every day is good in that sense. Alexandra is at University and although it seems to have been all fun at present as new students have joined them, I hope that the serious study is starting this week! I do miss her but I love her so much and I am so pleased that she is at University and on her way into her real adult life. This evening Alex will be at her Church in Buckingham and will sing in the worship group - she is sincere in her faith and is glad to share it. I pray that god will shape and protect Alex all the way.

So as I go into this day I can say God is good and I pray that you too will discover this.

See ya!

So what has happened today? Had a good day at work - got lots done and felt as if I had achieved some good. I enjoyed a coffee at Starbucks (with a skinny muffin) but at least I have had 5 of my 5 a day which is a miracle for me! I won't comment on the other food I had but I did enjoy it.......

need a bit of comfort food when Alex is away from home!!

Now it'd be great if I could work my way towards a good breakfast - 5 fruits and vegetables and a nice healthy early evening meal - and I will get there. I need more focus and that is so hard to achieve in certain parts of our lives eh?

Anyway, Friday tomorrow and I start work at the 'close to home' site before going off to Liverpool Street - at least I get a chance to do some stepping and that is important. Maybe, just maybe I will be geared up this weekend to start some serious walking! Talk again later.

Well it is mid week and so far so good at work with variety and plenty to work on. Today I am at Clifton House and then Mile End this afternoon for two meetings.

How am I shaping up? Well I am setting time aside to ponder over Susan Brown, vicar of Dornoch facebook blog each day which is good for the soul! for the body matters - well it has been too cold to walk - so apart from a bit of extra walking to and from work I am saving some up for the weekend (no pressure though!!).

I am logging at work the amount of fruit and veg consumed (not too good to date) but on a positive note I have started today with two pieces of fruit rather than my usual croissant - more to do with the fact that I hadn't lifted caseh so didn't have enough for a croissant!! However if it means that I need to leave myself cashless not to be tempted so be it.......

so the show must go on - I have a lot of improvement to do and by the end of this week - in the interest of improving my skills and brain matter I mean to visit a nearby institution who provide counselling courses. See you soon!

Well today I was back at work after 3 days leave with a weekend in between so when the alarm sounded at 6:30 I didn't feel fantastic. However I do enjoy my life in HR within the NHS and at least each day is a little unpredictable - well there is some variety anyway!!

So what was new today? We have started a Health and Wellbeing drive and each floor had a lovely box of fresh fruit delivered - all available at slightly subsidised cost. The idea is that we all try to gain points through healthy eating, exercise, and changing things for the better within our lives. This is good - not easy but good. January is a fairly dull, dark and uneventful month as we wait for pay day to help us recover from Christmas but God is good - he is faithful whatever we face. Every day is such a gift and it is really important that I don't waste one!

Waiting for Alex to phone - she has been gone for two whole days now and already I miss her! Isn't it great though - and a relief - when our child grows up and becomes strong enough to go on without us (in part) - to make their own decisions and learn by their mistakes and successes?

Talk again soon.

Well here I am in another year - 2012 and I need to catch up blogging since it is already half way towards February!

I have changed the name of my blog and inspired by the children's song ' Jesus bids us shine - I base it on the line 'you in your small corner and I in mine'.

I really appreciate my Facebook network - I have met up with friends again from schooldays in Penicuik. Those days seem 1000 light years away from the here and now and yet I have gained so much by sharing on FB with those early friends. Elma and I have met up (with Helen too) in York where Elma now lives and then again we met up in London - twice in a year and yet we had not met since we were teenagers. It is so easy to pick up together again - nothing to prove to each other, no pretence and just a feel good time to share together.

Susan and I both became Christians when we were young and attended different churches in Penicuik - now Susan is the minister of Dornoch cathedral and I share the news of her ministry via Facebook - now that is wonderful and so inspiring.

Today I have enjoyed a day off work - just Robert and myself at home, having taken Alex back after 6 weeks to University in Buckingham. How grateful I am for Robert being in remission and keeping mentally and spiritually strong - and how grateful we both are for Alex and the fact that she has a strong Christian faith and that in her little corner, in rural Buckingham, she is sharing her faith and sharing fellowship.

I have had a few days off work - good to relax and get organised at home. Tomorrow is a new day - a new working week and I am going to look for something new!